Cheaters!

Well looky what we have here, Ryan Giggs is a cheat. No 'allegedly' rubbish, he cheated. Now it’s all out in the open all I have to say is Ryan, you bought this shit on yourself.

Let's look at the 'facts' shall we:
With who did he chose to cheat? Imogen Thomas.... Errr HELLO! What the hell!! Does anyone have any idea what she does career wise? EXACTLY! He chose to cheat with a woman who makes a living dating footballers and selling her story to the press. No sympathy for you Ryan, none at all mate. And then Imogen wants to start crying because she was named at first and he wasn't. Er Biatch get yourself a dam job! Ok so we don't know the real hard core facts at all. For all we know Ryan’s wife could have been cheating or they could have temporarily separated. We just don't know for sure. And in Imogen’s defence, Max Clifford did step forward to say that she was never trying to sell her story in the first place. Hmmmm....

I have no idea what he was thinking, maybe I should ask his dick. But all I can say is stupid, stupid man. He obviously has no respect for his wife because if he did then 1- He wouldn't have cheated and 2- If he did momentarily lose his mind, he should have picked someone who had as much to lose as he does (or did?)Not a wag wannabe. Maybe that's why he got a super injunction, to save his wife the embarrassment? (Or to stop her finding out by reading a paper) Because it is embarrassing when someone you’re dating (let alone married to) cheats on you and everybody knows. When your boyfriend confesses he’s cheated that's one kind of pain. When you find out he cheated, it’s a different kind of pain. But when everyone and their dog know that they've cheated, that's pain + embarrassment. And I say this from the perspective of having being cheated on myself; it's so much easier to deal with the situation when nobody knows about it.

I think when you're in a state of pain whether it be physical and or emotional, your body shifts into survival mode. The brain clicks into overdrive to make sure you can cope (hence the feeling of constant tiredness right?) therefore you aren't thinking straight. So the last thing you need is for friends to be telling you what to do and or how to feel. What you do need (and this is me speaking from the experience of being cheated on and watching my friends be cheated on) is your friend to be objective. Someone to ask you how you feel and what you want to do next rather than screaming out 'that muthfcuker, let's cut off his penis, it was too small anyway!' not productive people, not productive at all.

To be fair, your friends are there to protect you. However, there are times such as these when their comments are just not useful. And I've even done it myself in the past telling my friends 'you don't need him', 'you're too good for him', 'don't forgive him' Even though there may be an element of truth to these comments made, I know now (in hindsight) it’s just not the right time to go there, what is needed is compassion and support. during that period, I said all those things because seeing my friends in such a state had caused me both anger and heartache. Then, I got cheated on... BAM! Everything changed, my world turned upside down instantly. I used to be the spokesperson for telling my friends that they should never ever take someone back who's cheated. Because I was so sure that good men didn’t cheat. Ha!! But alas, all of a sudden there I was in that same position. Cheated on by the person that I loved the most 2nd to my family... Now what? My friends were telling me the same thing I told them and I hated it. I didn't want to break up with him. I wanted him to come back and love me again and pretend it never happened. Did I feel hurt? Of course I did. Amongst other feelings such as pure disbelief and complete betrayal, not to mention the total and utter disgust at the skank hobag (true story) he decided to cheat on me with. And for the finale, to add insult to injury, everyone knew about it. But like I said before, I didn't want to break up with him and it was so much harder to piece together what was left of our relationship once his cheating was common knowledge. And that's why my heart goes out to all the women married to famous men who cheat.

As I grow older (begrudgingly) I have convinced myself I am getting wiser. Everybody, bar none, makes mistakes. FACT. So what does this mean in regards to cheating?... I'm still learning myself to be honest. However, as mentioned before, I think one of the many factors to consider is how it happened. If it was a one night fling I'd be more inclined to forgive, though a probationary period may be required. (Jude Law you have been warned) If it was a long term situation, now that to me is a total piss take. (Chris Tarrant please raise your hand along with Gordon Ramsay’s Father-in-law) and as stated before, if it's a public kind of cheat that's also different and I think worse(Ashley Cole please go and stand in the corner after placing the Dunce hat firmly on your head. Oh and leave your phone behind, I think we’ve seen enough pictures for now!)

Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage? Does it mean nothing to anyone anymore?

I used to think I had the answers when I was younger, I think we all did as it all seemed so simple back then. But now I know not to judge unless I myself have been in that exact situation because trust me; you think you will do one thing and you end up doing the total opposite. But what I will say is that if you are going to forgive someone for anything not just cheating, properly forgive. Don't use it against them over and over again. There's no point, believe me! Say everything you have to say, get it all out, cry, scream, shout, grieve and do whatever you need to. Then close your eyes, take a deep breathe in….. Hold it for a few seconds and then let it go and I mean let all of it go, not just the breath (easier said than done I know) But no relationship will ever work if you dwell on the past.

They say trust is like a piece of paper, once it’s been crumpled it can never be the same again. …. Perhaps... But for now I think I’m ok with ironing out the creases when need be and taking it from there...

She found her Prince

As were most of the world, I too was watching the Royal wedding. Not really fussed about the whole thing I chose to work that day and therefore watched it online. So there I was watching the guests arrive and I was surprised to that see Lady Gaga had been invited. Oh no wait, it was Princess Beatrice with a huge pretzel on her head! Previous to which, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson waltzed in looking like a villainous character from a Marvel comic. Nevertheless, everything was fine and dandy until I saw Kate in her wedding dress and then I started to feel emotional. To be fair this is not uncommon for me while watching wedding programs, whether it be Don’t Tell the Bride or Wedding SOS or even My big Fat Gypsy Wedding I don’t care. I love them all. And no matter how hilarious or grotesque the actual wedding may be, I always start to tear up. And this was no different; there I was watching Kate in such a beautiful dress and I was doing just that.

When I was younger it all seemed so simple, I was so very certain that I would be married, it wasn’t even an option that I wouldn’t be. Back then I was in a long term relationship that lasted around seven years, it wasn’t perfect but nothing ever is, and we both thought we would get marry each other. I’ve never loved anybody the way I loved him, so passionately, so freely, so willingly, and so desperately. He was my breath, my joy, my sorrow, my pain, we were each others everything. He was my first ever love… Cue a break up that lasted about two of those seven years, a close call with insanity and figuring out who I was without him then fast forward a few years later and here I am... 

The older I get, the further away it all seems. I mean for a man to confess his undying love for me and propose. Ha! I'm lucky these days if I get a guy to take me to the cinema on Orange bloody Wednesday mate let alone commit to a bog standard relationship. Anyway, there I was watching her get married, tears streaming down my face. By the time her brother had finished his reading, I was blubbering like a child with the realisation that it may never happen for me. I'm not saying it won’t happen, I'm just thinking about all possibilities given the circumstances. Kate found her Prince, will I ever find mine?

Its all so typical, the guy you like doesn’t like you back, or he’s not ready for a relationship or he’s just generally a piece of shit! Or you meet a great fantastic guy but there’s just no spark at all and no matter how hard you try because you know he’s a great catch, you feel nothing. And now you’re the piece of shit because you have to tell this person, who you know will make a great amazing boyfriend, why you don’t want to be with him. Then comes the pain, of not knowing why someone you care about doesn’t feel the same way about you. The upset of being that person that doesn’t reciprocate and has to be the bearer of bad news. I can tell you one thing; neither gets any easier that’s for sure.

In one of the speeches it was said ‘... We are all incomplete…’ and it got me thinking…

By falling in love, our life, which we once thought was whole, is now more amazing because of this love we feel for this other person. This person that makes us see the world so very differently than we did before, this person that helps us realise who we can be and makes us feel like anything is possible. This person who we’re in love with, they’ve completed us, even though we may not have realised we needed to be.

Maybe this is why, no matter how many times our world gets turned upside down, no matter how many times we’re deceived, disappointed and lied to, no matter how many times we get hurt and feel the discomfort and soreness of heartache, we still pick ourselves up and piece ourselves back together emotionally and physically the best we can, so that we can try and carry on searching for our soul mate to make us feel complete.