Thursday, July 21, 2011

Chez Gérard - Day Three

With Jason it all just seemed so comfortable and natural which, I thought, was a good thing. Honestly, how often do you meet someone and ‘click’ with them? Like almost instantly? I know it’s rare for me at least. So much so, that soon it had gotten to the point where I feared that I had fallen into that dreaded ‘friend zone’. We’d been speaking for a while and it had gotten to the point where I thought we were never going to meet as he travelled quite a bit for work. But then I persuaded myself that it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing if we didn’t. We were getting on really well, so why was I putting a time limit on it? And what if I was in the ‘friend zone’ would that be a bad thing?

So one night he calls with an unusual tone to his voice, it was like speaking to a completely different person. He’d been feeling down for a while, so decided to take some time off work. When I pressed him for a reason, he just said that he felt like something needed to change but he wasn’t quite sure what. He apparently needed to get out and have fun and I was number one on his list! Yay! I instantly got excited, we had such a great relationship over the phone that meeting in person would be amazing right?

Since he had left the site, I couldn’t remember what he looked like! We joked about it and I asked him to email me a picture so I would be able to recognise him. Fair enough I would have thought… However, he said it would be interesting to not send pictures and instead tell each other what we’re going to wear… hmmmm … I wasn’t too keen on the idea to be honest and anyone who’s ever been on an internet date or even a blind date can relate to this. It’s hard enough looking at a picture or even a few pictures and then identifying the person in the flesh! Even still, I agreed. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?...

As a joke, I said I’d wear a rose in my hair and he said he’d wear one is his hair too. Oh Jason did make me laugh; only… he was not kidding! I was a tad concerned, though I convinced myself that he was going to come up with some extremely romantic way of giving that rose to me.

So there I was standing outside Topshop in Charing Cross, frantically looking around trying to see if I could recognise him but at the same time trying to look calm and relaxed. It was odd, I didn’t even know what I was looking for but I just kept looking (how very appropriate!) Then I spotted the most random dressed man I’d seen in a while. And I will never forget, he was wearing brown Ugg boots, white skinny jeans, a white t-shirt that had a v-neck practically to the navel, a scarf and sunglasses to top it off. I couldn’t help but look him up and down; it was a special outfit that’s for sure! But you know, each to their own, who am I to judge someone who…. Is that a pink rose in his hair?!! Oh my goodness, why is he wearing a rose in his hair! And then it clicked… No surely it can’t be him in that ensemble, can it?

‘Helene, we finally meet!’ It is Jason! With a pink hair band, yes I said pink, on his head with a rose…no joke! We hugged and I was in shock…. This is not how I imagined him at all. I asked if the rose was for me (why else would he be wearing it right?!) Well no, I was wrong! ‘He told me it was ‘part of his outfit’ …

I wasn’t even listening when he said we were headed to Chez Gerrad, I was still in shock! Can men wear Ugg boots? Because honestly they are borderline feminine and with that v-neck… I just couldn’t cope. I needed to acclimatise to this whole fashion statement he was making and I was just getting my head around the idea when he stopped, took off his sunglass and asked if he had something in his eye. Bloody Nora!

Now eyeliner, is eye liner, is eyeliner. It doesn’t matter who is wearing it, it’s still EYELINER! If a man is wearing makeup, he is wearing makeup! What is all this ‘guy liner’ rubbish?! I’m not quite sure how Russell Brand managed to make wearing makeup and nail varnish manly but ever since then a few men have jumped on board. Ok fine each to their own; however, if a man is wearing more eye liner than you, it is a cause for concern, right?

Was he gay? Yes. But how did I know he was gay? I just knew. Could I get him to at least remove the hair band?! Was that rude? But was I sure he was gay? I mean, have I just made him gay because of his collaboration of an outfit?!! I can’t be sure until he admits it! Well he obviously doesn’t know he’s gay if he is, otherwise he wouldn’t have been on a straight dating website! Ok, I needed a drink and a strong one to get through this.

Jason was in the middle of saying something when I just got up and headed to the bar. ‘Let me guess…. A Strawberry Daiquiri right?’ I look up and it’s the same fricking barman! Do they not ever give their staff days off in this place?!!! Before I had a chance to order the shot of vodka that I so badly needed, Jason comes to tell me that our table is ready. The barman nearly spilt my drink when he saw him. He gave me that look, you know the look that says so many things one of which probably being ‘What the fu*k?!’

I decided my mission was to make Jason admit that he was gay… but how? And what if I was wrong! What if he wasn’t gay at all but just liked to experiment with fashion?! Ok, I needed to get a gripI tried to ignore the huge pink rose in his bright pink hairband and the fact that I could practically see his nipples through his top and start the conversation. He admitted to feeling lost (aha!) and confused (BINGO!) but didn’t know why…. (Oh but I think I do!)

We left the restaurant and started to walk around the plaza and I decided to take a leap of faith. Most importantly, Jason was my friend, our phone relationship was so great, so I told him that even though we don’t really know each other, we’re still friends and I care about him and if there was anything at all he wanted to get off his chest he could. Sometimes it’s easier to speak to a stranger about some things. I smile, hug him and carry on walking. He catches up to me and holds my hand and we just walked, in silence, aimlessly for what seemed like ages…

Lying on the grass near embankment, both staring at the sky, neither of us had said much… and then he spoke. I guess he was readyHim joining the website was his one last attempt to try and be straight, he was afraid of what his friends and family would say, he was petrified of what it meant and what it was going to mean now he had allowed himself to realise he was indeed gay… and then we talked non-stop for hours…

This particular date left me thinkingIt just so happened that Jason was gay, so I was right that time. But what about if there’s a next time? What if I were to meet another guy who liked to dress out of the stereotype of what I considered to be heterosexual?! Will I just assume he’s gay also? I’m still not 100% on board with men, makeup, nail varnish and skinny jeans, but does that mean I would turn down the chance of finding happiness based on that?

I hope not…

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Chez Gérard - Day Two...

Richard worked in the city, though I couldn't tell you as what exactly (something to do with wanking and banking.) And he was quite blatant to the point where he could be considered rude... But I found this aspect of his personality quite interesting and challenging.

Ahhh now there's that word 'challenge'. How many times have you said or heard your friends say 'he/she's a challenge'... Er na, they’re not. Their either a dick and or a bitch (yes there are dick bitches amongst us) and because we don't want to see or believe it, we put the 'challenge' label on them.

(Anyone reading this who has someone in their life who they consider a 'challenge' please remove that label and replace with the following: Women, rip off that challenge label and replace with 'DICK', place it right in the middle of his forehead so very time you look him in the eye you'll see it. Men, gently place on said female the 'BITCH' label.)

The plan was to meet for after works drinks… Not food... Drinks… We were to meet opposite Covent Garden station and I was told to "look sexy" otherwise he'd be annoyed... (!!) Never in my life had anyone instructed me in such a way, so I did the opposite…

Not only was I dressed casually (sandals, jeans, vest top, basic make up) I also purposefully arrived 20minutes late. I saw him as soon as I arrived but pretended to look around for a bit. As soon as he spotted me he came over. I turn around and there was Richard, with his slightly chiselled jaw, big brown eyes and ruffled hair. He was definitely more striking in the flesh, like a lot more... He leads the way while asking me how my day’s been etc. I wasn't even paying attention; he was so charming and sexy and funny and sexy and tall and sexy. He stops, takes my hands, turns me towards him and says 'You look absolutely gorgeous' (MARRY ME NOW PLEASE!!) I was now on cloud nine...

Next thing I know we're at Chez Gerard! Erm what?! 'I thought we were going for drinks? This is a restaurant!' He smiles and takes my hand again (surely this means he loves me right!?) and says 'Yes it is. But it also has a bar, plus I'm a bit hungry aren't you?' I start nodding, I was hungry alright, but what I wanted wouldn't be on that menu... He leads the way ‘After you’ (OK LOVER!)

Once inside, Richard tells me to order drinks from the bar (I had no idea there was a bar in here!) and he heads over to see if there is space for us to eat.
‘Can I get a Strawberry Daiquiri and Gin & Tonic please?’ Why is the barman not moving? He finally says 'It’s a lot cooler in here today. The air con got fixed' Then he winks and starts making the drinks. I stood there for a moment wondering what on earth he... OH! Was this his way of saying he recognised me from the day before?

We get seated and I stare at the menu, again, and contemplate having the same thing. Plus I didn't want to spend time choosing food; I wanted to look into the eyes of my new husband, who kept looking at his phone. No problemo hubby, I can wait while you sort out important business. I'll just start thinking about the colour theme for our wedding... 

'Sorry, my girlfriend keeps calling and texting me' (Ok... WHAT?!!! Maybe he meant female friend..?) 'She always thinks I'm up to no good' (How ironic!)
'What?' (WHAT?!!)
'My girlfriend. I’m going to turn my phone off so I can focus 100% on you now' (WHAT.The.Hell?!)
'I'm sorry, you have a girlfriend?'
'Yeah, I can't just dump her. That wouldn't make sense would it.' (WHAT?!!! YES... yes it really would!)

So, Richard has a girlfriend who he wants to break up with. But he didn't want to break up with her and be single, he wanted to "see what was out there first" to be on the safe side. (But what about our wedding?!!) By the end of his explanation, I had already had my first drink, plus a double vodka and coke and was currently gulping down the wine he had ordered to cope with it all.

'I hope this doesn't change things between us' (Well she's not coming to our wedding that's for sure!)
'What things? We don't have "things between us", we just met! And you have a girlfriend!!'

He was so nonchalant about the whole thing, shrugging it off and telling me he was going to break up with her once he found someone else. I sat there staring at him, right at his forehead where I had now placed the DICK label... I've never walked out on a date before and so was contemplating what to do next.... But I already knew I had to leave. I didn't want to potentially be with someone who had such a flippant attitude towards cheating. He wanted to walk me to the tube but I told him he should stay... I needed space...

By the time I was outside I could feel the alcohol taking effect, I was so angry and disappointed and tipsy! Why would someone do that? Why would someone with a girlfriend join a dating site? Why not just man up instead of trying to take the easy way out?

But this was the life of a singleton, going into the battle ground they call dating. We have to be ready for everything, whether it be meeting the most amazing men to meeting complete wankers. I didn't want to dwell on it as there was no point. I had to brush it off, plus I was meeting Jason tomorrow...

Now Jason was erm... He was... How should I put this.... Gay... But I didn't know he was gay at first and obviously nor did he!!