Saturday, January 19, 2013

My New Years Resolution

Every year we make them declaring that this will be the year that we do this or that! However apparently only 1 in 11 of us actually keep them. I can't think of one I've stuck to at all especially if it includes the typical losing weight! I find it a lot more entertaining to think of stuff to change than to actually follow it through. So, on the lead up to one particular New Year I wondered what my resolution was going to be. Was there any point, as I knew I wouldn’t keep it?

At that time I was dating this guy who was I’m glad to say relatively normal. He didn’t seem to have any mental problems that I had discovered so all was good. I was happy to be dating someone that made me happy. The relationship had no drama and just flowed. Simple.

A friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in ages got in touch and we arranged to have a catch up. Of course I was going to tell her all about this guy  I was dating and I did. But then she said something I totally didnt expect.
‘I know you and this isn’t you’
I had no idea what she was on about of course it was me. This is me! I am always me right?

It left me thinking quite a bit, running everything over, again and again and by the time I got home I realised she was right. I hadnt even noticed it as the change in me was ever so subtle. Then all of a sudden, the relationship that seemed to have no drama, that I thought just flowed and was so simple seemed to become ever so complicated!

It was true I wasnt being me. I hadnt changed totally just a little bit here and there perhaps to make the relationship work? Maybe thats why I thought it was so easy, because one of us was lying to make that happen.

So my New Year’s resolution since then has been to be true to myself and to always be me. I really hope it's one that I can keep...

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