Tuesday, May 17, 2011


By this time I was broken. Totally and utterly broken. It was like someone had thrown me in a boxing ring without me knowing it. There I was taking hit after hit and not even realising why or how to protect myself from getting repeatedly hurt. Every time I got knocked down, I got back up more bruised than the time before until my body couldn't take it anymore. Until there I was, lying on the floor exhausted waiting for the beatings to stop. Totally and utterly broken. I couldn't even breathe without it aching. I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping; I couldn't function properly at all. I just wanted to lie in bed with the covers over my head indefinitely. I was on the verge of a breakdown and not a pretend breakdown. Not what we say when we've had a hard day and we're fed up. My mind literally was unravelling. I went insane in the membrane (more about that later) If I were a celebrity, I would have been taken to rehab (and I mean Britney Spears style). But I'm not and therefore didn't have that luxury of being whisked away so that I could recover from my trauma. Like that dude from McFly who went into rehab because his girlfriend from The Saturdays dumped him for a football player. Like honestly…. MAN THE F*CK UP!  

Truthfully I was envious, because that’s what I wished I could do. But I couldn’t, I had to get up, I had to go to work and I had to carry on. In times like these my version of rehab is my friends. They gathered around me in force from the beginning to the very end, making sure I had all the support I needed to get me through it. I know that's what friends are for but still, I am forever grateful.

Once I had recovered as much as was possible, it was one of my friends that suggested that I try online dating. My first response was ‘Get Stuffed’ online dating is like giving up on any hope of meeting a guy in your every day life right? Surely this should be a last resort?! She tells me to think about it... So I did... And then forgot about it. Until one day I was on my way to work when someone handed me a flyer. I took it without even looking as I saw my bus ahead and knew if I missed it I'd be late for work. I must have dropped it without even realising because the next thing I knew the guy was shouting after me. I turn around and he's now following me.... I get to the bus and he's right behind me! He taps me on the shoulder and hands me the flyer AGAIN.... And there it was, all laid out for me as bright and as colourful as ever. 'Want to meet other singles join now!' Surely this was a sign right? The guy must have seen some kind of despair in my eyes to know I needed that flyer!

Online dating is basically a forum for you to advertise yourself. No two ways about it. It's like Hello look at me, I'm single, please apply within. You put up your best picture(s), write nice things about yourself and wait for a response......

I initially joined for three months but came off after about two and a half as it was quite exhausting at times. If you're going to do something like this, do it full throttle. The whole point is to meet people, so I was very proactive in suggesting meeting in person. I mean, I wasn't looking for a virtual pen pal! There's got to be a point where virtual reality becomes actual reality in regards to this online dating malarkey. I wouldn't suggest joining if you're still hurting from a previous relationship. Just because the contact you may have with the people you chose to talk and respond to may not be face to face, it doesn't mean that rejection isn't involved. Trust me there is a plenty! Therefore you need to be as whole and happy as you can be to allow people into your life and give them a fair chance. And be stable enough to take rejection. As is with everything in life I guess!

I came off the site having met a few really great people and seeing some amazing parts of London I never even knew existed. It allowed me to be random and spontaneous and have some great adventures. Don't get me wrong, I mean I did meet some total nutcases, but such is life!

All in all, Social networking seems to be the way forward these days.... Right?

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