Sunday, April 24, 2011


I log into Facebook and there it is; a message from Him. Same as always, he’s back (I don’t really know where he goes) and he wants my number (I changed it after I decided I didn’t want to be Mrs Crazy anymore) let me take it back…

I met him a couple of years ago. It was a time when I was single and seemed to be out quite a lot. As you do when you’re a constant on the clubbing scene, I started to see the same faces quite often. I can’t even remember how we met, but we did and we seemed to be inseparable from that moment. Well I say inseparable but actually I didn’t really see him during the day. We were more a nocturnal couple, always out together in the evening never really during the day.

Our first date was so normal. He came to pick me up, took me to Nobu for dinner, then to a friend’s wedding reception then to a club. It was a really nice first date. Things just went downhill after that. You know when you go out and you see that one couple in the club, causing a scene, screaming and shouting making fools of themselves? Yup, that was us. That’s what we did on nearly every single outing. But it seemed normal at the time, it appeared to be the dynamic of this ‘relationship’ we had.

Our arguing seemed to steadily get worse, what started out as little disagreements turned in to full blown melodramatic shouting. Then the beginning of the actual crazy behaviour began…. One night while we were out we both started shouting at each other. I don’t even know what about, I’m not sure we ever really knew what we were arguing about half the time. I tell him I going home as I don’t want to be around him anymore and I go to leave. So I exit the club and call a cab. Whilst waiting, he comes outside to tell me I should go back to his house like originally planned, though this time I didn’t even want to be in the same country as him let alone in the same room. So I told him no. Then he asked me how I was going to pay for the cab as I didn’t have any money on me. (I never needed money when I was out with him as he always paid for everything. So he always assumed I didn’t have any on me) However, my mother taught me better than that! She always told me to carry money just in case the person you’re with turns crazy and you need to get home. Thanks mum! So I tell him to leave me alone and I’ll be fine. I shit you not, the next thing I know he’s grabbed my bag and made a run for it! For a split second I contemplated running after him, but I hate running plus I was wearing heels so it was a double no no. I would have gone straight home only my bag had my house keys and phone in it. The cab arrives and like something from a movie I tell him to ‘follow that man, yes the man running away from us…’ it was a slow motion car chase, the cab gets to his car, we sit and wait for him to get in and then follow him to his house. At the time he lived in a gated community type thing so you had to have a code to get in. His car goes in and then the gates shut. I had no doubt he would pay for the cab but obviously he’s angry at me. So I jump out and climb over the pedestrian gate. Correct... in my tight dress and heels. Once over the other side I take off my heels and run after him. Then I hear someone shouting, I turn around to see the cab driver hanging off the gate trying to come after me. Conclusion we have to help the cab driver down, he pays him and adds a huge tip as the diver ripped his coat trying to get over the gate, we spend the rest of the night into the morning arguing and then he drops me home.

This was now a new feature for us; we had taken these arguments to the next level. I must stress that it never got physical; he never laid a finger on me, he actually treated me like a princess (when we were not acting like silly crazy people) I think that’s why I stuck in there, because when everything was calm it was almost perfect. Almost. But for a couple of months we continued like this, perfect moments then crazy flashes. Until one day I cracked, I couldn’t handle it anymore.
It was on another night out, the same thing happened as always, though this time a group of us went back to his house for an after party which meant there were people to distract us from arguing. Something was different about this time; it felt strange to be there. So I excused myself and went and sat in the bathroom and realised that I wasn’t happy. This was my epiphany moment; this was not a healthy relationship. I made the decision that I didn’t want to do this anymore and I needed to go home right that second. So I start to collect my things and say I’m leaving. He just looks at me and says ok. Er NO. Nothing with him was ever that simple. I check my bag and he’s taken everything out. That’s was it, I went LOCO. One thing I cannot stand is feeling trapped. I want to always know that I can leave at any moment and as soon as I don’t feel that way I start to panic. I didn’t want him to know I was panicked, so I just became calm an eerie type of calm. He clearly thought I was going to stay, so went to the living room to join his friends. Anyway, so crazy me starts searching around the flat, all I need is my phone and his car keys. I knew he wasn’t clever enough to keep my phone on him and I was right. It took me a while to find it though so I decided to block his toilet with tissues paper to keep myself amused, random I know but it made me feel better. I got his car keys and a garbage bag. I started to fill the garbage bag with some of his stuff then left the flat. I went down to the car, drove it to the other side of the car park, put his stuff in the boot, took money from the car and called a cab to take me home. My phone starts to ring and I just ignore it for a while then answer. He wants to know where I am and where his car is. I tell him his car is gone along with his stuff and that’s what he deserves for taking my things. He threatens to call the police but really I haven’t done anything illegal so I’m not worried. I didn’t steal his car... I just moved it to a different parking space. He found his car and his stuff, eventually.

You may be reading this and be thinking that’s not crazy behaviour but it is for me. Starting arguments in public, running around the streets screaming, crying, climbing over gates, pretending I’ve stolen someone’s car… THAT IS NOT HOW MY MOTHER RAISED ME. Being crazy is not ladylike at all, it’s all very time consuming and exhausting. He kept calling even though I had told him it was over but to be fair I had said it so many times before and not meant it. Or maybe I had meant it but we always ended up back together. I tried to get his number blocked but apparently you can’t do that unless you file a police report. But like I said it never got nasty between us, just a silly type of crazy. So I changed my number instead, I needed to be completely cut off from him.

The only way I can describe this ‘relationship’ we had was passionate. We passionately liked each otheruntil the arguments started. Then we passionately hated and despised each other. I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life. Someone who can wind me up to the point where something clicks in my brain and I lose all common sense and start acting crazy. And it wasn’t even about the alcohol as neither of us drank very much when we went out. I guess some couples, no matter how much they care or love each other, are just not meant to be together.

P.s Hell to the NO, I will not be giving him my number!


Arabian Princess Ali said...

Lol Funny read but yes I'm so glad you are not going to keep in touch Good thing fb has a block feature
That gets real old real quick
have you ever noticed how as you get older you look back at some guys you've dated or been crazy about and know they couldn't even get your attention if you met today

Helene said...

Omg you are so right! I look at him and ask myself what the hell I was I thinking!! Lol Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and comment much appreciated x

Darryl said...

"So I jump out and climb over the pedestrian gate. Correct... in my tight dress and heels. Once over the other side I take off my heels and run after him." Hahahahahahahaha! Oh, Helene, how you humor me. Good read indeed. I didn't realize you had posted so many since my last visit. Drop me a line when u update if it's not too much. I enjoy reading these.